URL: http://dailyablution.blogs.com/the_daily_ablution/2004/11/pelling_pounds_.html

<h>The Daily Ablution

<h>"Washing brains since 2003"

<h>Pelling Pounds Pedant into Submission

   <p>I am aware that I sound pedantic at times, and I do apologise for that
   (while I'm at it, I'll also apologise for my use of British spelling,
   which I've adopted mainly to annoy two specific readers, who know who
   they are). In my defence, I can only point to a constitutional
   inablility to resist commenting on the mistakes, inaccuracy and poor
   writing that I see almost daily in the press.

   <p>Take the work of Rowan Pelling, for example. She's apparently quite
   well known over here, though I had never heard of her until I recently
   started reading the Independent (because I'm lazy, and there's so much
   easy grist in its pages).

   <p>Since I've first become aware of her - through noting with amusement
   her ignorant misuse of the word "gainsay" - I've learned that she is
   in fact past editor of something called the Erotic Review, which
   purports to bring erotic writing to the intelligentsia. More recently,
   she's been pressed into service as a judge of the prestigious Booker
   Prize for literature, as she repeatedly reminded us this summer.

   <p>Incidentally, the first of those last three links is almost worth the
   £1 it costs to access. In it, Pelling complains of suffering from
   "judges' tristesse" - a depression, tinged with guilt, that afflicts
   literary prize givers after they make an award. In Rowan's case, the
   tristesse was particularly bad, since she was the very, very most
   important judge of all - the "Florida" of judges, as she put it
   (referring to that state's role in the 2000 US elections).

   <p>I admit to wondering what she was going to write about once the Booker
   had been awarded, given the frequency with which she addressed that
   topic (and, more importantly, her role as judge). In fact, I was
   afraid that the tristesse would weigh so heavily upon her that she'd
   be forced to give up writing entirely.

   <p>Thankfully I needn't have worried - she reappears in the pages of
   yesterday's Evening Standard, having secured a job reviewing Love for
   Sale: A Global History of Prostitution. The post-Booker Pelling has
   lost none of her punch, and she mercilessly hits the reader with one
   shot after another.

   <p>Wasting no time, she lets us have it right from the opening bell, with
   a couple of glancing jabs:

   <p>"Legend has it that the Innuits have several hundred words for
   snow."

   <p>Since she at least says "legend has it," the opening combination isn't
   terribly painful - though including as it does the jarring variant
   spelling "Innuits," it does impart a bit of a sting.

   <p>But the opening jabs soften us up for this:

     <p>"In the Hindu kingdoms of India in the last centuries BC, there
     were more than 300 different Sanskrit words for prostitute. I
     suppose that amply illustrates the cultural differences between
     people of hot and cold climes."

   <p>Of course, it illustrates exactly nothing at all, not least because
   the first half of the comparison is so completely spurious. Nils
   Ringal, author of the book being reviewed, will no doubt be irritated
   that his factual nugget is sullied by the juxtaposition with one
   that's been so frequently debunked.

   <p>Second paragraph. The hapless reader is hit with:

     <p>"Ringal's comprehensive study of turning tricks is equally
     compelling in its broader picture, whisking the reader from the
     temple prostitutes of Mesopotamia to the New York Mayfair Madam
     ..."

   <p>Who is this 'Mayfair Madam', one wonders? Ms. Pelling, like her
   headline writer, seems to think that we'll all get the reference, but
   I've never heard of her. Either I don't know enough about prostitutes,
   or Rowan is inaccurately referring to the Mayflower Madam, who was all
   over the New York papers in the mid-80s.

   <p>Although it's distressing to imagine the former Erotic Review editor
   making such an error, it is again no knockout punch in and of itself -
   but we're feeling just a tad woozy so early into the column.

   <p>Third paragraph:

     <p>"He points out that Polynesian women, for example, have almost no
     concept of selling their favours when they can bestow them freely
     where they please and without censor."

   <p>Censor/censure! Ouch - that one hurts! It might draw only a wince if
   seen in a freshman essay, but from the "Florida of the Booker Prize"
   it draws blood - the reader, still reeling from the jabs just thrown,
   staggers.

   <p>Staggers, but carries gamely on - to the next paragraph:

     <p>"Prostitutes enjoyed some form of legislative protection and paid
     taxes in civilisations ranging from  Chandragupta's Indian empire
     of 4BC ..."

   <p>Or maybe it was the 4th century BC. But what difference does it make?
   The fight is lost - after four such shots in four paragraphs, the
   reader is well and truly on the ropes, with no choice but to assume a
   defensive posture - dreading the next error (logical, linguistic or
   factual), and doubting every single assertion that Ms. Pelling makes.



<p>Comments

   <p>My favorite quote from Ms. Biddle Barrows:
   <p>"Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to
   hear at your trial."

   <p>BTW, Ms. Pelling should check out this info on the folks of
   Polynesia...she might find it - um - interesting...

   <p>What is it about Mangaia?

   

   <p>The Mayflower Madam has relatives here in Princeton. The Convent
   Station Madam lived in Morris Township and used to be a real estate
   agent before the property values went down.

   <p>Never heard of the Mayfair Madam but maybe E. F. Benson might have
   included her in The freaks of Mayfair

   

   <p>Ms. Pelling's "The Decadent Handbook" informs the decadence challenged
   among us "how to run a brothel, arouse your pets and rollerblade
   decadently". You may not see the connection immediately, but when you
   start charging by dog hours you'll be roller blading decadently all
   the way to the bank.

   

   <p>Fausta, completely OT, is the Alchemist and Barrister still on
   Witherspoon Street?

   

   <p>Hmm. I wonder if she has included any of my postings in her research?

   
   <p>Arlye, yes, the A&B's still on Witherspoon, and continues to do great
   business.
   <p>Another good spot in town is Triumph Brewery, but I don't know if
   you've been there. They're serving pumpkin ale for Thanksgiving.

  
   <p>Your killing me Scott!

   <p>Funny stuff man.